College....

Oh dear god, it is almost October. Which means it's almost my birthday, but once that passes everything goes downhill, and it goes quickly. For the past month, I've dealt with the pent up college/graduating anxiety by reminding myself constantly that it's only September. Nothing is slipping out of your fingers yet, applications aren't due yet. It's not even sweater weather yet, girl! But today that quickly fell to shambles. A capstone update is due next Friday, and I have done almost no work on it what so ever. I'm afraid that it won't work out as I had hoped. I would hate to fall back on that math class next spring, and miss the opportunity to do an amazing project. College application deadlines are approaching soon. My stomach is still eating away at me because I only have two colleges that I want to apply to anymore, and one of them has not wanted to talk to me at all. I am having trouble finding scholarships that even apply to me. I probably shouldn't be complaining too much on the scholarship front, however. I was recently told by my parents that my grandmother has set aside a large amount of money, so that I can go to college. Why they only told me this now, is beyond me (apparently that money has been sitting there for quite some time now). I wish that I could keep living in a state of denial, and pretend that college is so far away. But I need to break out of that shell, and realize that it's staring me in the face. It's time to hit the ground running, blondie. You can do it. You can get through this.